The worries of expecting my first baby!

Okay so I’m currently 38+3 weeks pregnant with my first child and expecting a little baby boy. Scared, excited and anxious all in one. Will I be a good mummy? will I be able to breastfeed? Am I prepared enough? Will my little boy love me? Is my house clean enough for him? Are just several questions out of a thousand that pass my mind everyday at the moment.

Some moments I’m happy and excited and the next I’m sad, scared and emotional (which I feel guilty for) because he’s just days away from being in my arms. I’m booked in for a c section due to him being footlong breech, which I suppose means I can plan ahead and be ready for him, but I’ve never been into surgery before so I’m pretty scared and don’t know what to expect. Argh.

Before I got pregnant I had a major major phobia of needles so how I’ve managed to get through my appointments and blood tests has surprised me. I feel really proud of myself. I was diagnosed with low platlets in early pregnancy so since then I have to get them checked every 4 weeks. I have gone from 140 to 108 and with my c section being 1 week away I’m slightly anxious about the low level! So of course I’ve been googling horror stories online and having sleepless nights.

My family are a 2 hour drive away so the fact I can’t pop round for a brew and a chat on the down days are a struggle, my 2 sisters and my parents are the most supportive family unit I could ask for and are only a text away, but sometimes it isn’t enough. I live with my partner Chris and my cute little French bulldog Blue who is my shadow 24/7 (I know this will be a task once baby arrives, wish me luck! Ha) but he’s been good practice for my little human coming along, all frenchie owners out there will understand haha.

My maternity leave so far has consisted of decorating, cleaning, washing and preparing for my baby boy but no matter how much I clean it’s not clean enough!! Maybe have the occasional nap but that’s allowed right? (Hands over face) I never knew I could be so OCD or is this just my motherhood nesting kicking in? Could this stay with me for life now!!

I’ve enjoyed my full journey of pregnancy so I’m going to really miss having my bump, feeling him move and believe it or not throwing my full wardrobe about trying to find just 1 thing that fits! Literally.

I’ve managed to get through my full 9 months with only a few maternity pieces and just worn stretchy midi dresses and leggings with jumpers. This has enabled me to save extra pennies and buy even more for my little boy!! I’d love to help other pregnant woman fill their wardrobe with suitable clothing for pregnancy that you can also wear post pregnancy as well, this means u can buy guilt free!!

I’ve been one of the lucky ones who hasn’t really suffered at all with any problems throughout, so I’ve had the chance to embrace every second. Although people tell me I have the ‘pregnancy glow’ and look great I still have those days where I feel heavy and uncomfortable and just hide behind the make up. Pregnancy can be hard and u feel pressurised to look perfect but you have to accept the extra pounds u gain that makes ur baby healthy.

Post pregnancy and after my c section recovery I hope to take up yoga and baby exercise classes which I intend to blog about so watch this space! Just because we have a baby doesn’t mean we can’t work out and get our body back right?

After my daily chores are done and I can’t stand on my little legs anymore we chill and wait for my Partner Chris to arrive home from work, he works 6 days a week running a business that takes up all his time to make enough money for us to live comfortably and enjoy the nice things! So the majority of the time I spend by myself which can be quite tough, apart from Blue of course so I’m really excited to get stuck into motherhood.

I’d like to put my energy and spare time I do get once baby B arrives Into writing about my new exciting journey.

To be continued when my baby boy arrives…

FF xx