DILF Life - The Facts

DILF Life – the facts

Being a dad is awesome.

But also shite.

No one tells you about the shite bits because the awesome bits are awesome but it’s generally a rollercoaster of mixed emotions.

1- You spend your life buying batteries only to find yourself saying “remind me to take the batteries out of that ffs.”

2- I never called a baby a dickhead until I owned two under two. Baby books won’t tell you this but I do it all the time and now don’t even do it under my breath.

3- I used to make tea and drink it there and then. Amazeballs. Now I microwave any left over, half necked cups of whatever I can find about the house. Actually the same applies for most food I eat.

4- Any form of loving with the better half starts with “we only have about 10 minutes before those dickheads wake up.”

5- The absolute jewel in the crown is when you try to get your kid to watch a different cartoon and they actually like it, as opposed to watching repeat episodes non stop for ever of the same thing.

6- A sleeping baby can make more noise than a herd of bagpipes being beaten to death with accordions. If she isn’t making more noise than a riot in a fireworks factory you assume she’s not right and stay awake to stare, just in case.

Written by Neil McTeggart for his Facebook blog, Team DILF!