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We'd all be lying if we said that parenting was always sunshine and roses.
However, sometimes people are afraid to admit that sometimes, parenting can be an absolute sh*tshow. There can be judgement heaped upon anyone who stands up and voices this, no matter how balanced and overall positive their point ends up being.
One mum of triplets took to the Reddit AITA (am I the asshole) board to ask, is she the asshole for telling her childless friends that, contrary to their rose-tinted opinion, kids CAN be assholes?
If you've ever received unsolicited parenting advice and anecdotes from childless people, then this might be a very relatable read for you! For the first time in two years, this exhausted mum enjoyed an adult night out with her friends (who aren't parents) and her equally exhausted husband. Their night out on the town was going swimmingly until the childless adults began to discuss children.... Read her original post below.
Read the full post here - credit to Reddit.
What was the general consensus?
The overall voting opinion was that the poster is NTA (not the asshole) in this situation, and that her response was actually very balanced! Many comments pointed out that whilst the poster might have shocked her childless friends with some of the more negative comments about parenting, she reiterated that parenting is MORE positive than negative, and that she loves her children more than life itself. If she'd told her friends that she 'hates' her children, perhaps it would be another story.
Parents shouldn't have to hide the sh*t parts of their parenting experience to avoid offending or shocking others, and in fact, it is helpful to share honest and lived parenting insight to help others not go into their own parenting journey with a completely flawed and inaccurate view of what is to come, as well as helping other parents to feel less alone in their struggle. The top comment was...
"NTA. It was an open conversation about parenthood-and the reality is that being a parent is the most amazing, awful, rewarding, backbreaking, exhilarating, tiring, soul sucking, joyful experience possible. I remember days thinking I’d never get through another minute, and others where maternal love and pride had me bursting with happiness. People for the most part only want to talk rainbows and sunshine, forgetting there has to be rain too."
Our verdict...
We don't think that the poster was rude to share that parenting can be so, so hard, and at times sh*t. Of all people, we'd trust the insight of a mum of TRIPLETS to share the truth about how hardcore parenting really can be - beautiful, stressful, fulfilling, exhausting, exciting, overwhelming, but overall, wonderful.
To us, this mummy was NOT 'putting her children down' by sharing that her very much loved and wanted children can be exhausting little pains in the proverbial. In this situation, we'd say her childless friends are in fact the real 'assholes' for their unsolicited and romanticised comments about parent life in front of the exhausted parents of triplets. It's pretty insensitive. Taking the mum to the toilets to chastise her about her response was also totally out of line.
Finding parenting tough and being open about this doesn't mean you don't love and cherish your children, and attitudes dictating that negative feelings about parenting should be repressed are toxic!
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