AITA: Returning Baby Shower Gift

Baby shower gift etiquette can be a tricky topic to navigate...

If you've created a gift registry, that is usually very helpful for your loved ones in guiding them on what you need for your baby. However, pricing and budgets can sometimes prove a barrier; is it unreasonable to be unhappy with a relative for buying a cheaper version of an item on your wish list? Would it be rude to return it and ask them to get the item you specifically requested? Good question.

One expectant mum took to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask, is would she be an asshole for doing just this; she can't afford to take it back and pay the difference herself on top of the refund.

baby-shower-gifts

Read the post below...

"im having my first child in a couple of weeks and my in laws asked what i was missing to buy for the baby. i sent a link to a playpen that i wanted to get for the baby which is $125 on sale from $180. it is the color i want, with music and vibration features. it has multiple pockets and a big space for pampers bottles etc. plus it has near perfect reviews. yesterday my SIL showed me the one they got me which is $90 but in a color i don’t like, with a smaller area to put baby things and no outside pocket. it was like they didn’t put in the effort to order the one i wanted and ordered the first one they saw at target. personally i feel awkward with these things and just said thank you and its cute but i truly don’t want it.

WIBTA to request they return it and get the one i asked for and sent the link to?

edit: some people seem to think im being entitled so maybe i didn’t give enough information. the playpen i actually wanted is only $35 more than the one they got which means less than $20 a person would be spent extra. and why ask for what i want if you’re going to get whatever you want? im due in two weeks… they had months to get me the more affordable things on my registry. when they facetimed me to show me the gift they said that they liked the one they chose better because it was cute…. not because of monetary reasons. something cute over something i researched and picked out….

and if i just return it without them knowing they will be hurt when they see i don’t have it in my house

edit again: its not about money for all the “maybe they couldn’t afford it” ppl. they offered me to buy a $200 present that i already had and i told them so. so they asked what specifically was left that i needed. i send them a link to something that cost $70 below what they would have bought me had i not already had it. they just wanted to get me what THEY LIKED. just because they liked the design more.

and i can’t return something to target and pay the difference to get what i want from amazon. thats why i can’t return it myself."

Find the original post here on Reddit.

What was the general consensus?

The overall vote was that the poster would absolutely be the asshole if she approached her relative with this request, with many comments accusing her of being ungrateful, and others pointing out that she doesn't specifically need the more expensive version of the item at all. However, some comments did concede that she's not specifically an asshole for wanting certain items for her baby. One of the top comments was;

"YWBTA by asking them to return it and buy the one you want.

You're not TA for wanting particular things. There are so many versions of so many baby products, and it can take such a long time to research and select the one that fits your growing family the best. But if you want something specific, don't ask someone else to get it for you. Either keep it as an extra to keep at the grandparents house, or return it yourself and purchase the one you want. Be appreciative of the fact that you have family that wants to help, as not everyone has that."

Our verdict...

This is a tricky one! Is the poster in the wrong for wanting specific items for her baby? Absolutely not. Is it a bit odd that the relative originally offered to buy a more expensive gift and then deviated? Perhaps, but financial situations can change quickly. Fundamentally, we think that the poster would be incredibly rude to have this figurative conversation with her relative, and she should perhaps save up to make up the difference after returning the unwanted gift. It would be a very awkward chat and could cause problems with her relationship with her family, so our advice would be to be gracious, discreet, and glad for family who want to contribute no matter what.

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