AITA: Not Invited To Baby Shower

Baby shower guest lists can be tricky if you've got a limit on numbers.

Traditionally, you'd expect the guest of honour to be the expectant mum - right? Well, read on for a very odd scenario!

One expectant mum took to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask if she's out of line for questioning why she wasn't invited to a baby shower, that had been held to celebrate the incoming arrival of HER baby! Initially, it was claimed to be a 'male baby shower' for the father and his male guests which, as it turned out, was not the case; mum was simply off the guest list.

Read the post below.

'My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We lived separately. He was 30 and lived with his parents. I was 31 and lived with my 6 year old. We had our baby on September 14th. The baby shower was sometime in August. His aunt decided to throw a baby shower for him. She said it would be a male’s version of a baby shower. Men only, but that was a lie. She invited his mother, her daughter (his cousin) and herself of course. She said I wasn’t allowed to come. If it were “men only” baby shower, then why were those women there? Also, that would only make sense if it were a bachelor party. I was carrying the baby and I wasn’t allowed to be there.

All my boyfriend said to me that “It was out of his control” I feel like he should’ve stood up for me and said that it didn’t sound fair, that it should be a baby shower for the both of us. Every baby shower I had been to always had both parents. Also, I didn’t feel like he deserved a party looking like he’s father of the year, because he didn’t even show up to many of my baby appointments except for two of them. One being when we found out the gender. It was on my birthday, but he had to leave shortly after the appointment, because he was spending the day with his mom. ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Also, they lived together! Another appointment he came to was a three hour glucose test, but he spent half that appointment on the phone with his mother. Also, he wasn’t there much for me during the pregnancy when I was throwing up or needed help lifting something. I had to do it mostly by myself. Again, we are together. Maybe this would make sense if we weren’t together. He tells me that the baby shower wasn’t out of spite. That it was supposed to be guys only, with the exception of his mother, aunt and the cousin. Yet, I’m the mother.'

Read the main thread here on Reddit.

baby-shower

What was the general consensus?

The expectant mum was, unsurprisingly, voted NTA (Not The Asshole) by thousands of Reddit readers. The comment section was a sea of comments all sharing a unanimous opinion that the father of this child is a 'mummy's boy' and that she is more or less being treated as a glorifed surrogate by her boyfriend's family. The top rated comment was;

"NTA, and big yikes. I wish you weren’t linked to this man for the rest of your life, because he’s married to his mom, and you’re the other woman."

Another comment that gained a large number of up-ratings caught our eye and summarised the chaos of this situation well;

"YWBTA if you even THINK this he is your boyfriend. No, he is not. He may be with you at times for whatever reasons, but it is not coz he is your bf. His family is his heart, not you. You need to start working with legal authorities/attorney to get some child support paperwork in order and make sure you get legal custody. I can see his Mommy pushing him for custody so she can be MOMMY to this baby, not you. Your 6 yr old is watching this unfold, learning from you what a true relationship is; Do Better. Set Better Examples for your child.

Does he live with you now or still with Mommy?

You wrote Again, we are together. NO, your words say differently, your words say 'you are not'.

Did your family/friends throw you a baby shower? Did he attend? Did his family attend? Where are all the items from HIS baby shower? At his MOMMY's house?"

Our verdict...

We're loving the top rated comments on this Reddit post; we've nothing else to add that hasn't already been said! Our hearts go out to this mum; the situation is most certainly concerning and we're questioning the stability of the situation. We can only hope that this mum has the courage to speak up for herself as she has been excluded, disrespected and completely disregarded by people who should be supporting her.

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