AITA: In Laws Want To Stay After The Birth!

Birth and the period of time after is such an intimate, vulnerable time.

It's completely fair to expect space and privacy after having a baby, with guests welcome on a strict invite-only basis, but of course, this is fully down to the individual! No matter your preference, it should absolutely be respected without argument.

Of course, there will always be someone with an opinion who doesn't understand your decision; one expectant mum took to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask if she's unreasonable for refusing her husband's request that his parents stay at their house for two weeks after their baby is born.

Read the full post below...

"I told my husband that after I just gave birth I do not want to also be responsible for hosting people at the house either. His parents have plenty of money and can easily afford a nice hotel—they are NOT in a hard financial situation. Our house is not that big and honestly they can be kind of overbearing. I want the three of us to get our bonding time in as a family without them staying at the house. I said they are welcome to come down as early as they want, and are welcome to visit during the days the are in town. But I think it’s reasonable to not have any overnight guests at least for the first two weeks. He keeps asking “why can’t they just stay in the guest room?” #AITA?"

Find the full thread here on Reddit.

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What was the general consensus?

The overall vote was that the poster is NTA (not the asshole) for having these boundaries and being uncomfortable at the prospect of a full house so soon after giving birth, not to mention her wish to have bonding time as a new family unit. One of the top rated comments was...

"I don't think it's customary to have guests so early. Newborns feed almost round the clock and both parents are usually in no fit state to entertain. Of course, for your husband he has no intention of entertaining. It's not uncomfortable for him because it's his parents. And worse, with parents there, he may feel more comfortable shirking his half of the responsibilities with baby. He is being grossly inconsiderate of your situation. Those are not your parents. You will be uncomfortable in your own home and feeling pressure to tend to guests when you already have a newborn with very demanding needs. Your husband and parents are the AH for putting you in this situation. His parents already went through this. They should be scolding their son for being without manners to his wife and yet it's so rare it's sad."

Our verdict...?

We think that the mummy-to-be, fundamentally, should have her wishes respected and she's hardly being unreasonable; her in-laws aren't being banished or banned, they're welcome to visit as early as they want! She's drawing the line at having her personal space, in a small house, imposed upon. The intentions of her husband seem innocent, just lacking in understanding and practicality - hopefully when their baby arrives, and he's hit with the reality of what life with a newborn entails, he'll have a reality check and realise that hosting guests for two weeks was not the best suggestion.

As mums, we cannot help but cringe at the thought of recovering from giving birth (whether vaginal or caesarean, there's a lot of blood, pads and waddling around), with massive leaky boobs, trying to establish breastfeeding in front of an audience as a first timer, and not feeling comfortable in our own personal space at such a vulnerable time - as well as the added pressure to keep guests happy! We hope that her in-laws at the very least have an iota of common sense and are happy to book a nice hotel nearby.

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