AITA: Gave Breastfed Baby a Bottle Without Asking Mum

Infant feeding can definitely be a source of tension, when it really shouldn't be.

We're sure you'll all agree that it's really important for mummy and daddy to be on the same page, especially when it comes to how a baby is fed. We're a team - single parents, you're amazing - but sometimes we find ourselves butting heads.

One daddy took to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask, is he the asshole for giving his baby a bottle when his wife was breastfeeding? It's more complex than it sounds... read the post below.

aita-bottle-fed

Read the full post here - credit to Reddit.

What was the general consensus?

The poster was voted the asshole unanimously by Reddit readers. Parents from all over the world jumped on to share their own experiences and thoughts on his actions, with it pointed out repeatedly that breastfeeding is done on a 'supply and demand' basis, baby may have been comfort nursing without needing more milk via a bottle, and he was unfair to dismiss what his wife was saying. The top comment was...

"YTA

Your wife is trying to get her used to latching again, and you actively interfered in your wife's efforts

Edit: YTA especially because you put what you wanted to do (going out) above what your wife wanted to do (bond and spend time with baby). There would have been plenty of time for anything you wanted to do, even if y'all wound up leaving at noon. You're just impatient."

Our verdict...

Dad is definitely the asshole here but we applaud his recognition that it was 'good intentions, poor execution'. He wanted to ensure that their day out went as planned, and thought that he was doing the right thing, especially considering that his baby prefers bottles of expressed breastmilk over the boob. However, he didn't consider that his wife was trying to encourage baby to latch more and that his actions may be counterproductive...

To us, it seems that it's a fundamental lack of breastfeeding knowledge on his part - a good lactation support worker would definitely have been in the best place to advise dad on what to do in this situation, and would have explained why his baby latches 'just for fun'. We don't see any malicious intent but he definitely needs to learn more about breastfeeding, and make sure clear boundaries are set with his wife so that they're both on the same page. Team work makes the dream work, right?

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