AITA: Didn't Donate Old Baby Clothes To Sister In Law

Some people love hand-me-downs other people don't. We all have our own styles when it comes to dressing our children. But should hand-me-downs be expected from family members?

One Mum took to Reddits AITA (Am I The Asshole?) board after altering her sons baby clothes to make them fit longer instead of gifting them to her pregnant sister-in-law.

Read the full post here:

"So I saw a hack online where you turn your babies old onesies into a T-shirt & bib when they outgrow them by cutting them at the bottom. I (26F) thought it was genius so I did exactly that with my babies onesies that they recently outgrew… fast forward a few days later & my pregnant sister in law (35F) messages me on Instagram (I posted a story showing & informing others of the hack) … I’ll copy & paste her message “Hi there and also wtf!?? Why would you mutilate your babies old clothes instead of going to the store & buying new ones like a normal person? I know you didn’t grow up with family but traditionally someone with a baby with hand down the old clothes to the next family member in need??? You know I’m due in 6 weeks so how could you be so inconsiderate & just disregard me?? Forget about coming to the christening!!” …she’s right, I didn’t grow up with family, so maybe I’m in the wrong & this is an unspoken rule… but I don’t understand why she never mentioned this to me. I donated his earlier outgrown things to a second hand shop… her & her husband are very boujee so it never occurred to me they would want/need my sons hand me downs. Her husband even got a new car recently so I know they’re not struggling financially. I feel guilty but also a bit annoyed because I think she’s overreacting not wanting me at the christening. AITA???

Edit: some of you said she might be lying about her financial situation, I assure you she’s not… her house is four times bigger than ours with a private pool (both my husband & I earn a lot of money but prefer a smaller house), she has two older children who are 12 & 15 that always have the best of everything… latest iPhone/Apple Watch/AirPods… expensive sneakers, new clothes etc. she also has her own car so her husband didn’t go into debt getting his new one. & they both vacation to tropical destinations multiple times per year. So I’m not assuming she’s too boujee for my sons hand me downs… she just is boujee & I never considered that she would want them.

Update: so she finally responded to my husband’s angry text telling her that even though he’s the godfather, neither of us would be showing our faces if I’m not welcome. She called him & cussed him out at first then started crying saying it’s the hormones & of course we are both welcome. He said that’s not good enough & she owes me an apology. She begrudgingly agreed & when he handed me the phone she said “I had no right to speak to you that way. You know how pregnancy can be, I was stressed & took it out on you. Please don’t be the reason my brother doesn’t show up for his godchild’s big day” …I responded “okay, let’s try to put this behind us. But moving forward, please just ask next time you need something & I’ll be happy to help!”"

Read the full Reddit thread here

What was the general consensus?

The poster was voted NTA (Not The Asshole). One of the top comments said:

"NTA. While passing down baby clothes is very common (not at all a tradition thing, just a fact of convenience because of how fast kids outgrow them), there's no reason for any single person to think that you OWE them your baby's clothes. What you do with your property is your choice and yours alone."

While another said:

"I love how she tells you to act like a “normal” person and by new clothes and in the same breath complain you’re not giving her old clothes.

Maybe she should be a “normal person” and buy NEW clothes for her kid. Also who is she to tell you to buy new and not repurpose your kids clothes. They are yours and just because she’s pregnant it doesn’t give her some unspoken entitlement to them. It’s not an unspoken rule. You give your clothes to whoever you want and also often keep them for your next kid if you’re planning on more. I think she was just raging for the sake of raging.

She’s a cow. “Don’t be the reason my brother doesn’t come”. Wow nice apology 🙄 she’d be the reason he wouldn’t come because she’s rude."

Our Verdict...

No-one is entitled to your used baby clothes. They often hold a lot of sentimental value especially if it's from your first baby. Perhaps you want to keep them for the memories they hold, or even for your future children to wear. It should not be expected from any family member or friend. If you hand anything down, it should be your choice and your choice alone.

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