A to Z of Things Every Parent of a Toddler Has Said

A: Argh no! Stop licking the dog
B: Beans dont go up your nose.
C: Can you pass me that? No, not that, the thing right next to you, there, right there…nevermind I’ll get it.
D: Don’t lick the wall.
E: Ewww why did you put your hand in your dirty nappy!?
F: For goodness sake get up off the floor it’s disgusting down there!
G: Get off your sibling they are not a horse.
H: How on earth did you get that in there?
I: I’m just going upstairs for one minute to get something you stay here…cue kid following you the entire journey up and down the stairs
J: Just go the frig to sleep kid!
K: Keep doing that and see how far it’ll get you, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.
L: Let’s sniff your bum.
M: Mummy just wants a wee in peace!
N: No! Don’t eat the (insert inanimate object here)
O: Only my kid could do that (under your breath when you find them doing something silly)
P: Peppa Pig/Paw Patrol…again? Really? Even though we’ve watched it for the past hour? …fine.
Q: Quickly then! (Everytime your child is moving at snail pace)
R: Really hope you didn’t put (insert object here) in the bin.
S: Stop touching your bits!
T: Take that fork out of your earhole
U: Until you stop doing that we are not going anywhere.
V: Victory! My child is asleep…Oh no wait they’re awake again.
W: Well where’s your other shoe gone!?
X: eXactly why I told you not to do that (I know I cheated on this one but x is impossible)
Y: Yay! You had a poo, well done aren’t you clever?
Z: Zzzz – what every parent wishes for haha