5 Irritating Sounds All Parents Will Relate To...

The five sounds that send me into a parenting tizzy… how many ring a bell for you?

One: That ONE specific toy your child is friggin’ obsessed with… the tune it plays will HAUNT YOUR DREAMS.

‘I’m a soft, and happy cow. Hug me love me all day LOOOOOOONG!’

This the annoying fecker – for a few months, it was ‘asleep’ in the cupboard to save my sanity but daddy brought it back out of its crazed-mama-induced coma. Nob!

Two: That annoying high pitched nasal whining session with a duration of several hours when they’re in a bad mood for no reason. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT CHIIIIIIILD!

Three: That bone-chilling THUD in the night. Child rolled out of bed? Sippy cup? Who knows, but either way, you won’t be getting much more sleep tonight…

Four: PEPPAAAAA PIG. DUN-DUN-DUNA-NUNA-NUN-NUN. And no, you cannot change the channel when your obsessed child is glued to the bleedin’ screen. I genuinely watched every single bloody episode today, and I’m convinced that the show is deliberately made to be as annoying as humanly possible.

Five: The beastly, horrifying sound of wet farting that is a precursor to a poonami when you’re doing something vitally important that requires your utmost concentration, and you just know that you’re going to have a disaster on your hands at the most inopportune time…