We Wished for a Baby, but Made an Angel Instead

Thank you to @jessica_nicholsfitness for letting us share your heartbreaking story.

We can’t praise you enough for having the strength to speak out about your painful experience.

For anyone who is going through a similar time we hope this story will bring you some comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone. Sending all of our love to Angel Baby parents, wherever you may be.

“We made an Angel Baby We were so excited to have something amazing come out of 2020, and this was the 1st pregnancy we were not scared. We had done it twice and felt like we had a good understanding of what was to come. I had honestly been preparing myself for the ultrasound tech to tell me there was 2 babies. But 2020 had other plans and throw punches right to the very end. At our 8 week appointment on Dec. 21st we were told our tiny babe was only measuring at 6 weeks.

This could only mean one of two things, 1. Our dates were wrong (but not very likely) or 2. Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks because it was not developing right or something was with its chromosomes. Austin and I decided to stay as positive as possible. We made a follow up appointment for the 30th because by then if my dates were off babe would be big enough to see a heartbeat.

My doctor was hopeful but did warn me that if the second was what had happened, there was a chance I would lose the baby before that appointment, but either way to come in.

Being that it was the week of Christmas it was easy to be distracted and only thinking about it during quick quiet moments when I would put my hand over where I thought it was and I told my tiny baby “I love you. Please stay.”

But then Christmas night I started to spot, wanting to stay hopeful, but preparing myself to lose our 3rd baby.

We continued to stay busy with our Christmas plans and stay hopeful. Then on December 28th, at 9 weeks, we lost our baby.

No one prepares you for how physically painful it is and how it takes your breath away. How painful the realisation of no longer being pregnant is.

Today was the first day I have had time to really think about and mourn our angel baby. I am completely heartbroken, empty, and feel a bit lost. The crippling hurt and sadness comes in waves. I have been hugging my 2 big babies a bit tighter, thankful I have them, but sad that I will never see the 3 of them playing together.

I know one day we all be together, one day I will hold you not just carry you. Till then watch over us. I love you my littlest angel baby “