Feeling excluded recently?… You somehow missed the memo?…

So many new mums I speak to have gone through a similar experience. Friends lose touch…it’s so hard to not take it personally and I honestly think it just happens as we get older but it’s not very nice and it’s hard to take especially when you expected your friends to be there and still be part of your life regardless of you having a child.

So this is what has led me to write this…

Tinder? Why not? Could be a great idea.

Naturally when you become a mum life changes a lot and with it your friendships also change. You suddenly become the mum and the one with the baby and to your childfree friends I can only assume you become irrelevant…the one with the baggage?…you soon realise who your true friends are when you go through tough times and you realise it is only a handful. It’s sad but that’s life and I’d much rather have true friends than shit ones. Life goes on…as old friends disappear it makes room for growth and new friendships…perhaps mum friends?

You’ve had a baby and you have settled into motherhood…it’s time to get out there and mingle with the other mamas out there…you join groups…baby massage…chat and small talk but for some reason you never meet your ‘mum tribe’.

It never really happened for me, I’ve never got into a Mum tribe but it must be really nice to do so and I envy people that do.

I’m lucky enough to have my own tribe, who are also mums but my best friends who understand and totally get me for my crazy self,which is great.

It must be very lonely to not have that support when you are a new mum and it’s not always easy to go out and meet new mums because it’s scary!

Call me obnoxious, presumptuous and assuming BUT It’s happened a few times now! I’ve been minding my own…3 kids in and people start reaching out to me. I kindly oblige because I love people, chatting and I see the good in everything and everyone but I never learn..I get burned all too often.

They ask me to meet up..then cancel.

Why ask me?…

Now I admit it, I am one over sensitive, emotional person more so now postpartum and I’ll admit slight irrational (if your my friend you would know this) but it’s who I am…And I won’t change. It allows me to show empathy, understand people, but you also get taken advantage of, take on other peoples shit and soak it up like a sponge. Getting older I’ve managed to deal with that now and have my own tool box for it.

Sensitivity can be a hindrance because sensitive people take things far too personally. some people cancel on you, I get it…I do it as-well haha (get a grip init)…but the truth is people who were assholes…are still assholes, will always be assholes.

Just because they have had kids now and play adults doesn’t make them any different to who they once were (probably why you don’t hang out with them anymore…so why do it when you got a kid?)

Oh hey we ain’t friends…but now we got kids oh hey bestie! obviously some people do grow up and you can’t hold grudges…stay with me I have a point… I think (mum blogging 1 month newborn sleep state… I don’t know what time, day it is…I dyed my hair pink for the love of humanity!)

Look I’m merely stating what happens when you get pregnant…people become interested in you…no??? And by people I mean people from the past coming out of ghosting you on social media to private messaging and liking all your pics….

Tinder mum profile…

…I’m Steph 31, mum of 3 boys…retired nurse and stay at home mum…seeking mum friends to basically moan to about life, swear a lot and talk about Netflix and hating men (just kidding) lol. I’m still fun (I think), still like to drink and party and I am still me…available for good times if given advanced notice…childcare arranged and I’m not too tired

So mum friends…preference:

1. That ain’t assholes

2. That ain’t judgemental

3. That want to talk about things other than children basically

Okay I’m not perfect, truth is I am all 3 of these at times so it doesn’t help