So today is D-day, the eviction notice has officially been served. I’m so heavy, uncomfortable and quite frankly bored out of my tiny brain. And, it seems the little wriggler couldn’t give a monkey’s.

See my other post Pregnancy Ponderings for more detail but basically I’ve had extremes with my two so far. Stanley was born eventually 16 days AFTER his due date and James came quickly and was born 2 hours BEFORE his due date. As I half sit/half lie propped up with a million cushions writing this, it’s 10.30pm on due date number 3 and I’m more than ready for things to kick off.

This is the part of pregnancy I just can’t get along with…the waiting game.

First Trimester

Yeah OK, compared to most I get it easy, I’ve never really suffered with sickness so I’m grateful for that. It’s also an exciting time and whizzes by in a heady mix of pregnancy tests, secrecy, midwife appointments, folic acid and finally culminating in a scan to see your little creation for the first time. The fatigue is a killer, but to be honest I hardly get any sleep with James anyway so it was hard for me to notice a difference. I was still whizzing around after the boys and life continued as normal with the exception of no alcohol consumption.

Second Trimester

Now remember this is baby number 3 for me, so I skipped the whole bloated ‘is she, isn’t she? pregnant part and cruised straight into‘ whoa look at the bump on that’ bit. This trimester brought with it…bump touching, gender predictions and maternity clothes. A few general aches but nothing too bad and we found out we were having another boy, hurrah! It has been one of the hottest summers on record and I wasn’t going to miss out on it.

We spent a lot of time outdoors, picnics were eaten, we went on a lovely holiday to Norfolk, we did plenty of walking and splashing in paddling pools, and we attended fun outdoor events such as bubble festivals, traction engine rally’s and a party in the park for Stanley’s 4th birthday. For the first time in years I had a credible tan.

Third Trimester

It started off promising, another holiday…this time with my mum and the boys…was squeezed in, and I even managed to get all glittered up for a local family music festival with my 28 week bump proudly on display. The sun was still shining.

The bump does Maccfest

From there it turned only slightly more sedentary with a chocolate making workshop, water fights with Nana, a Brio Funday and finally a trip out (practicing with 3, as I took my niece too) to a fake seaside in a local town. We picked blackberries, all was good. Which brings me onto what I like to call…

The Final Gestination

Much like the film series, I’m waddling around waiting for something horrible to happen to me!

That’s not me being scared of labour (far from it, bring it on) but rather the depressing truth of sciatica rearing it’s ugly head again, complete lack of sleep and being housebound. This does not a happy Emma make.

To try and positively reframe, I suppose the gamble of getting to my feet and not knowing whether taking a step forward will send shooting pains down my legs into my back and bottom or not, is the most excitement I get.

James has been teething again so sleep has not been forthcoming and I’ve averaged 4hrs of broken slumber a night on the sofa, this is especially painful when EVERYONE is reminding me to relax, rest up and get my sleep in now, before baby comes!

For the last two weeks my little man’s head has been fully engaged, and the last visit to the midwife discovered that I was 1cm dilated. It basically feels like I’ve got a bowling ball wedged into my pelvis at all times, and especially when I’m walking. My waddle has now taken on a life of its own, I basically roll from side to side like a ship fighting the swell of a storm.

Lightening Crotch….no, sadly that’s not my superhero name (mores the pity as it sounds absolutely kickass!) But rather a condition that due to pressure in the pelvis causes a lightening strike of bloody awful pain to my nethers. I’ve also heard it referred to as ‘Fanny Daggers’ which course would be my slightly more dowdy but loyal sidekick.

Joking aside, it’s just another painful thing to add to the list of stuff that I am absolutely completely and utterly fed up of coping with now!

Multi-Gyn Perineum Compresses

I’m a prisoner in my own home. OK again that might be over egging it slightly, but these last couple of weeks I’ve been forced to slow down, stay at home or not venture far from it. I’m struggling to walk any distance and so little things like the preschool drop off and pick up, have become huge tasks that require a lie down afterwards. I feel sluggish, lazy and lethargic for not physically being able to do what I want to. My wings have been well and truly clipped.

The boys, well they’re understandably more than a bit bored of being in the house for days on end and have become reliant on watching children’s TV. The constant Milkshake/CBeebies/Netflix has started to take over, which I hate and I feel incredibly guilty because I know it’s my fault. They are bickering and fighting over toys a lot more and the days are so loooong! I felt so jealous when Ben took the boys out for a bike/trike ride on a lovely autumnal Sunday and I was left at home.

I’m desperate to get our Halloween game on!

This time of year is one of my favourites. We (me and the boys) have normally been to, or at least booked onto some Halloween activities. We did manage to go conker picking along the canal one afternoon, which was my one saving grace and made me feel that I was still a good mum, even if I did pay for that short walk for the following few days.

Stanley’s conker haul (and blackberry mouth)

But, here we are nearly halfway through the month and I just can’t plan anything until this baby arrives safe and sound. It’s really beginning to get to me, sadly. Luckily, The Final Gestination period only lasts for a few weeks, I can just about see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I just want him here now…but guess what?, I’m still playing the Waiting Game.

Written by Emma Hutchinson for her blog, Dirt Diggers and Dinosaurs!

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