I have now settled into life as a mum quite nicely and am enjoying it more than I could of ever imagined.
It has officially been a month (just over) since Immy joined our little family and I can assure you it has been a massive learning curve.
Once we came home from hospital it was like starting all over again. All of a sudden there was no bell to press if you were unsure and you are solely responsible for the little human that you brought home with you. It is a very daunting thought no matter how prepared you feel.
Our first night wasn’t long at all as we had such a late discharge from hospital. By the time we actually got home and settled down it was early morning. We put Immy down in her next to me and went to sleep. We were woken up by her crying and I panicked as though I had never heard her cry before. I was in such a deep sleep that everything seemed ten times worse.
The tiredness mixed with the unknown is a little bit overwhelming, I won’t lie. I was told that I would ‘just know’ what she needed when she was crying. Well to put it bluntly, that is a lie! I do now, after a month of getting to know my little baby. But, in that first week or so, your guess would have been as good as mine.
When the midwife first visited us we established that Immy was suffering from a bit of colic. Hence why she would scream rather than cry. Luckily for us this was only at certain times of the day. I know some peoples babies scream all day every day. We changed the bottles we were using (about three times) and changed to a colic friendly formula and after a few days it made a big difference.
After two and a half weeks Dan went back to work. I was really nervous about this. In my head it felt like i was loosing my right hand man and I was going to have to do everything on my own. Of course this wasn’t true, my mum has been an absolute god send. Especially as I am unable to drive for now. At each entrance of our house is steep steps as well so i couldn’t even lift our pram out to go for a walk. So mum to the rescue, we went for nice long walks every day and popped to the shops here and there.
The hardest bit for me was the morning. How do you shower, get ready and tend to a crying baby? The answer is, you don’t. To start with I would have to wait for mum to come or get up at the crack of dawn unless Dan was off work then all was good. Now she is that little bit older and is starting to settle into a bit more of a pattern, I know when my slots are. If that fails, Immy sits in her chair and watches me shower…poor child!
To start with Immy would wake every two hours, now she only wakes every four hours so we only actually have one feed in the middle of the night and then Dan does the early morning one before he gets ready for work…bonus!
This also means being out and about is easier. I can now go out for the whole day with Immy and not worry about her colic so much and know that she is happy between feeds. My biggest tip for an unsettled baby is being out, this has been my saviour! She sleeps better, is more content and gets a good lot of fresh air.
So all in all, I would say it has taken us up until now to settle down properly and feel like we know what we are doing. It has come with it’s own challenges and there have been evenings where me and Dan give in and get in the car and drive around for hours just for some quiet.
I would also be lying if i said i didn’t feel trapped to start with. Being hit by ‘The Beast From The East’ meant I was unable to get out even more so than normal, as now i was snowed in and recovering from a C-Section. I would be secretly annoyed from jealousy when Dan would go out for a walk to the shop and felt like I would do anything for just a bit of fresh air.
Despite all of these difficulties, I am happier than i ever have been. Whenever I feel tired or think to myself ‘please stop crying!‘ or get out of the shower and see the remains of my stretch marks and a scar I just look at our beautiful baby girl and think to myself how I would do it again tomorrow if it meant having her here with us.
I never really knew what I wanted to do in life. I have never been solely career driven and always been happy with the thought of holidays rather than travelling. I know now that I was meant to be a mummy. My little family is all that really matters.
She is a ray of sunshine, she is our ray of sunshine.
Thanks for reading…Anna xx