Introduction To Induction

Oh hey there!…here I am blissfully taking a selfie…you may think what she blabbing on about…induction looks sweet….this was taken prior to the lord of the rings style trilogy of labour….there was a definite ring of fire at the end (but I could not feel my legs by then thank god for my epidural)

Act 1 – the fellowship of the birth

You would think that we would want to work as a unit to get the best possible outcome…a safe delivery…it was not meant to be the fellowship was broken before it even began…

…Ahh gets to the day the day of baby. I didn’t have high expectations of anything happening but I certainly did not expect what I got on the phone.

…erm yes we have you down for tomorrow you must be wrong…that’s not possible I have it written down, the doctor told me I am on the list for today…

Well before you get to the ‘top of your tree’ …EXCUSE ME??!

Those of you who know me well can only imagine my reaction…

1. Phone lady you do not know me

2. I was relatively calm Steph at this point

3. What kind of professional answers the phone and says such a statement to a heavily pregnant woman (who may rightly so be at the top of her fucking tree…(yes I mentally prepared myself up to push a head out of my vagina and now your saying the it’s not happening?!)

4. It is your error not mine…ever heard of putting the patient first or am I just an inconvenience phoning the ward like I was told to do…

After all been said it turned out she was wrong and I was down for today! She back tracked like a bitch….

I have literally felt like I’m on death row and even though I’m disappointed it’s nice to have some reprieve. I can understand how awful it must be waiting for having an operation and it been cancelled.

I know everything will be okay but it’s just when you have been told your baby is small you don’t exactly know why or if there is anything wrong it’s worrying.

As long as baby is safe that’s the main thing and I know how busy the nhs and maternity units can get… there were 5 other women waiting to get in as well…all cancelled so I hope they are okay. It’s like going back to medieval times. Limited resources, staff and equipment…what can you do!? Doesn’t make you feel secure.

All I know is communication is the key! If I had realistic expectations and someone spoke to me with respect I would be so much more calmer and less anxious.

If she had said..I will see what’s happened and get back to you that would have been fine…

Anyway rant over, I am having an induced labour because of the growth of my baby. Baby is small and growing on the 10th centile. The reason they induce labour earlier is because baby has less chance of complications and it reduces the risk of still birth.

I have been induced before in my first pregnancy because my waters broke but I did not progress. I am not sure what to expect this time but I will be sure to up date you….

It feels strange because part of you thinks you should let baby come when he is ready and part thinks well no I should do what is advised if it is safer.

I think for me it’s having control taken away but you have to remember you are in control of your life and your choices. I went with what was advised by medical professionals…

Act 2 the two wards

Fast forward….So what happened…..I was taken to an induction ward…transferred to a labour ward…to be transferred back to…the induction ward????!!!? Whatttttt…the battle continues…all because of my apparent hobbit sized baby.

I wish now that I had listened to my gut instinct telling me to trust my body and not be induced. Hindsight can be bitter sweet because on the contrary if I had of ignored the doctors advice and something went wrong then I would have tortured myself again, sometimes you can’t win.

All I know is if I’d of truly understood what an induction of labour involved I would not be able to go through this again I believe.

It was hands down the worst experience out of all 3 births. I was in agony with the hormone prostaglandin. I’m very hormone sensitive… it was like been in real established labour I couldn’t talk my back was spasming..at one point I said to my mother if I had a gun I would have shot myself. On top of this we were not sure if my waters had gone or if I’d just pardon my French ‘pissed myself’ the midwife couldn’t be sure..(so she went outside and sniffed my knickers.. wtf) I told you medieval type shit….

Whilst all this was happening I was not given any pain relief despite expressing my labour choice in wanting an epidural. I wasn’t even given paracetamol I was just told to have a bath. I took my own paracetamol.

In the end they transferred me to the labour ward.. my hell was not over I was in agony still and was refused pain relief. I wasn’t allowed an epidural because I wasn’t in ‘established labour’ but later was told I was contracting and 2cm?! Which one is it love?!

I swear I thought I was in labour…the pain was so bad…worse than when I gave birth to Freddie with no pain relief…even then I could cope. I was definitely at the top of my tree now! It was as if I was possessed. In the end they eventually gave me some pethidine which took the edge off. I had no sleep. In the end I nodded off for half an hour….

I was then woken up to a horrible woman…saying that it was a labour ward not a sleeping ward and that I was no longer a priority…also if I wanted more pain relief it was my fault… because I was asleep..any healthcare professionals will be thinking now I sound like that ‘difficult’ patient…the one that you think is an asshole basically…I can assure you I wasn’t even in that territory yet despite me thinking I could be that asshole for sure. I was also told that I refused an examination. It was bullshit…basically the nhs is on its arse and with limited resources and beds they wanted to palm me off. This would have been understandable if I had my professional head on but I didn’t…. I was a woman trying to have a baby at probably her most vulnerable. The thought of the pain for another 24 hours like it was was uncomprehendable…I totally lost my shit. Mother stepped in…

‘For God sake grow up you are not the only person having a baby Stephanie….’ she hadn’t realised what was going on then she piped up.

I would have rather die than go back to the other ward again, it felt hopeless I just wanted to go home…be fine! Toms delivered babies before he can do it right

Act 3 the return (arrival) of the king…

In the end I was examined and I was still….2 centimetres (god sake) however, I got my epidural in the end and was exhausted…they questioned whether I had labour induced sepsis as I was out of it all day, high temperature, tachycardia, exhausted, confused…not evening knowing how I would be able to give birth. They broke my waters…8 hours later he was born….

I had my first midwife who looked after me when I had Henry and a student…it was a blessing. They were so lovely and kind and caring it made all the difference. Since then my care had been nothing but fantastic.

I wonder if I attract it sometimes but then I thought no I don’t why would I attract this shit, I can’t be responsible for everything. I guess there are good and bad in both and not only do they bully staff some bully patients as well… you know what! People’s perceptions of pain are different and your opinion should not be tainted. If a person is stark bollocks naked screaming like she’s dying and crying round the room… I would either think she needs psych help or at least a couple of paracetamol next time…that’s after you have handed over to your staff that you have had to ‘baby sit’ me all night…. (you couldn’t make this up honestly)

I was trying to find the lesson in this all, perhaps it’s the level of contraception I needed NOT get pregnant again…it has defo put me off.

Saying all this though through the rest of the birth and after the care has been excellent and I could not have hoped for better. The feeling you get when you meet your baby never gets old! it is so magical and special and I feel blessed to have another beautiful son. I feel content…and relief not to be pregnant anymore it’s not been the easiest of pregnancies.

We were due to be discharged home but results came back and baby was severely jaundiced. Light therapy and IV antibiotics were required. It was really difficult to see your newborn baby under lamps like a lil chick