When you become a mum (or pregnant even) you envisage all of the mother and baby groups you will join and subsequently meet other mums with children a similar age and believe that this is how your friendships are formed from now on…..am I right?

Well I had a very strong opinion on this and said to my husband when i fell pregnant with Izzy, that I refused to make friends with people just for the fact their child was born in the same month as mine. At times this seemed maybe snobby, dismissive and isolating however I have so far stuck to my outlook.

I truly believe when you become a parent, your friends are even more important and help you through some of the most sleep deprived, vomit ridden and crazy emotional times….therefore they need to be someone who gets you, will cry and laugh with you, not judge you for having an untidy house or complaining about your precious bundles of joy….someone who you share more with than just a certain aged child, someone you can have conversations with that are about other things that are important to you in life, someone who you can meet without children just because, someone who loves you for you not for being “Izzy and Jack’s mum”.

Having said all this….this is easier said than done as us mum’s have a tendency to be clicky, stay in our ‘packs’ at the school gates and feel safe with the people we know.

After all it’s taken you several months to make these friends so why share them? I am urging you all to stop for a moment and look around as I can guarantee there is a mum standing nearby, looking in, that is desperate to be part of what you have, the companionship, the hello at the gates, the text about utter nonsense, the quick coffee after drop off.
This person could be just what you need at that time in life and bring you more than just another play date.

Look past the children and see the “mum” as another lady like yourself. If that person is someone on your wave length and who you can be yourself around….hang on tight as I can guarantee when the children grow up and move out, the house will feel empty so you are going to need those friends even more than ever!!!

Written by Kara O’Sullivan for her blog, The Gym Mummy.

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