Four ways to help my fussy eaters

My kids have restricted diets but it’s nothing to do with allergies (that I know of).  To many parents it probably looks like I feed my kids the same food every day due to laziness.

But in fact they are autistic and I’m actually desperate to get them to eat a greater variety of foods.  If you are having difficulty expanding your kids diet, here’s some of the ideas we have tried.

David will never be conned into eating anything different – and that’s pretty common for kids with autism. As he’s pre-verbal there’s not even much chance of us being able to tell why he will eat one chicken nugget brand and not another.

Anthony is also autistic but can at least explain why his feels he can’t eat foods.  This can be key to helping him expand his meals or add in healthy variations.  It’s hard to tell whether their little sister Jane is just following her brothers apparently fussy example or not.   But when I do figure something out about why the kids eat the way they do, I try to use it. If they can eat a wider variety of things it may make it easier for them in the long run.  Here’s four things we consider.

1. Similar foods

Like I said, David can’t be fooled into eating anything different. So there is no point in trying to sneak things into his diet.  He does however like foods certain ways. Things should be bite size – ready to be eaten.  He doesn’t like his food touching each other on a plate and he doesn’t like ‘wet’ food either. So if I’m giving him something new, I’ll try and hit these targets and pick something similar to that which he already likes.  So after he ate cut up apple, we tried cut up pear.

Anthony’s language is at a more age appropriate level.  Food can be presented differently and he understands it’s not the same but is willing to give it a go.  We moved Anthony from only eating Hot Cross Buns, to eating tea cakes and Rankin Loaf.  He really likes lasagna for dinner, so he tried spagbol with success.  Then he tried quorn mince and pasta and then macaroni cheese.

Each time he tried a new ‘similar something’ he’d screw up his face as he processed the flavours and textures.  Then after twisting his face, he’ll say “I like it” or “I like it a bit”.  Probably my favourite so far is “It’s OK, I can eat it” – err thanks kid.  But now he’ll eat just about any type of pasta and any sauce.

From an understanding of liking mince, he moved onto ‘flat mince’ in a burger.  And that led me to understand even more about textures.

2. Textures

We’d already identified that David doesn’t like things in a sauce.  This is not that uncommon with autistic kids.  People with autism can have highlighted sensory systems which can make, for example, some clothes feel itchy against their skin, or make the feeling of certain textures in their mouths uncomfortable or hard to process.

Anthony was fine with both dry things like toast and soft food like mince, but when it originally came to a burger he wasn’t convinced about how having both textures together would feel in his mouth. For the first few times we opened the burger so he ate just the bun, and then ate the burger part.  Once he was happy with how both felt, we put them together so he was eating a traditional burger.

3. Timing

It might seem like a good idea to force new foods down when kids are hungry but it’s the worse possible plan in our house.

Firstly, Anthony doesn’t like to be surprised by a new food option when he arrives at the dinner table – I’ve got to give him a bit of warning about it so he’s ready to eat when he comes to the table.

Secondly, trying new foods for my kids requires effort for them.  No one is interested in exerting themselves when they are already hungry.  That’s just likely to end in a meltdown.  I try to change things when they seem ready, not me.

David will often wait till the whole table has finished their meal, then when he feels the pressure is off, he might just eat or try something.  Perhaps because he feels more comfortable eating on his own. And that’s OK.  I will let him sit by himself if he wants to.

We can sometimes use a ‘first & then’ strategy for timing with Jane.  “First eat another spoon of macaroni, then you can have some custard.”  But I’ll be honest, she’s the only one this works with and I’d rather get her intrinsically motivated instead of  being forced to try.

4. Place

David eats at the kitchen table for meals.  He’s OK with snacks in other places, but will take things to the table at dinner time.  Snacks are best left for David to try in his own time.  Eating with a book or an iPad is fine in our home if it helps him feel safe so he can eat or try something.

However, Anthony’s key time for eating burgers was initially whilst watching Formula 1 on TV.  We joked around asking Anthony if he would like a, ‘Lewis HamBurger,’ or ‘Nico Hulkenburger’ which will only make sense if you know who the drivers are. Last year it was ‘Nico Rosbergers’.  So what if it’s in front of the TV?

Who knows what’s next?  Perhaps I’ll get Anthony to try some of my soya milk in his cereal? Goodness knows what David would make of that.  One things for sure, with my kids, there is no point in forcing the issue, better to think of ways to help them at their own pace.

If you have any tips, I’d love to hear them.

This is edited from an original post on Rainbows are too beautiful