Every child has little quirks or mannerisms that they pick up that are really cute when they first do it, or as I like to call them, “childisms”; and I believe that there are 4 different types that you will likely experience at some point throughout parenthood.

Type 1 – The cute ones that don’t last

When Rudy was about 2 he absolutely loved ‘Toy Story’, but his favourite bit was actually the opening credits; when the Pixar lamp bounced onto the screen he would stare in silent anticipation of the final leap, which he would then jump along with and make the cutest little noise in sync with the lamp. Sadly, as he became more impatient and discovered the fast forward function on the tv, he would skip past the opening credits and this “childism” just faded away.

One of my favourites of Koby’s was that when he first started walking, he would walk through my legs, wait for me to turn around, then do it again. He would do it continuously until he burnt himself out and thought it was hilarious for some reason. The reason that this one didn’t last though wasn’t his doing, but because I had to put a stop to it. As he started getting a bit taller it was getting too close for comfort to a world of pain for me.

Type 2 – The annoying ones that don’t last

There are countless examples of this type, and the reason they don’t last is that they’re not allowed to for sanity purposes. One of the most annoying “childisms” I’ve ever encountered was a noise that Rudy used to make. While on holiday a few years ago he randomly started making this noise that went a bit like “gahbah!”. The very first time he did it it sounded cute, then after a good 10min of hearing it on repeat it very quickly became like a form of torture. I couldn’t figure out what it was that he was saying and I swear that the more he could see me cringe the louder he would do it. After a long two weeks I finally fathomed that he was actually attempting to make what he believed to be a chicken noise (he was getting it the wrong way around) and he was swiftly corrected. It obviously wasn’t as fun to say properly as it quickly began to disappear thank god.

Type 3 – The cute ones that hang about & still pop up from time to time

Again, there are plenty of examples of this type; things kids do or say that always bring a smile to your face or make you laugh and they never get old. My favourite example of this type is when teaching Rudy animal noises, his response to “what noise does a bee make?” was “beeeeeee”. The first time he did it he didn’t even pause to think, it was just an instinctive reaction and it was hilarious. To this day he still does it, although I think he only does it now as he knows it makes me laugh. The best thing about this one though, is that just the other day Koby did the exact same thing. Whether he has picked it up from his brother or it is just the way their minds work at that age I don’t know, but I hope that one never goes away.

Type 4 – The ones that start off cute, very quickly become annoying, and then hang about like a bad smell

This type is the worst! No matter how cute or funny it was initially it is always outweighed by the annoyance that it becomes. The perfect example of this type is the misuse of expressions. Rudy does this constantly and no amount of correction makes it go away; I swear he continues to do it just as he knows it annoys me. For example, he will say “can I tell you something?”, then ask a question. Occasionally he throws a “do you know” in there first just to wind me up even more. Another example is that when talking to me he will regularly call me mummy before correcting himself, and similarly calls his mum daddy first when talking to her. The most annoying thing about this one is that Koby now does it too. It was cute the first couple of times, but years down the line it has definitely lost it’s appeal.

I love my boys to bits, but when people say they wouldn’t change their kids for the world, I beg to differ; I would definitely change their type 4 “childisms”.

Written by Stewart Strachan for his blog, Diary of a Glasgow Dad!

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