Bump & Grind!

The gist of it is, a friend of a friend (I do genuinely mean a friend of a friend), has point blank refused to let anything sexual happen whilst she is pregnant. That includes ‘taking care’ of her partner (not that he is demanding). I found this quite odd as personally, nothing has changed about our sex life. So I decided to look into it.

Obviously, there can be complications during pregnancy which prevent you from getting it on but for the everyday normal pregnancy, sex is quite safe. I thought I would outline the basics, that:

• Sex whilst pregnant does not harm the baby in any way. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect the baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection. And quite frankly, his spam javelin will definitely not be long enough to reach the baby (providing that it’s not too rough and he’s not going at it like a jack hammer).

• If you have a normal, low-risk pregnancy sex cannot start labour or cause a miscarriage. You may experience mild contractions after but they are generally harmless.

• It may feel different. You have increased blood flow during pregnancy so sex may feel a little sensitive, which you may like but you may not like the feeling at all. Of course you should always communicate with your partner about this. You can always try other things so you both get pleasure out of it!

It does differ woman to woman. Some experience a heightened sex drive whereas it can be quite common to lose interest in the first and third trimesters. In the first, it’s usually due to sickness/nausea/tiredness and in the third it’s common to feel achy or self-conscious about how your body is different. As above, communication is so important.

I love my bump but my partner has made me feel gorgeous throughout my pregnancy. I think this is so important for partners to realise. We spend 9 months devoting/sacrificing our bodies to growing a life and that is something our partners should be in awe of and respect.

Now, it may be that your partner doesn’t want sex whilst you are pregnant but it’s so important to have that conversation about why. Are they worried they will hurt you or the baby? If they are, have that discussion with your midwife whilst they are present. This can help reassure them and just take it from there. They may be anxious about the burdens of parenthood which can affect their libido. It’s definitely something to talk about and not be ashamed of.

Open communication can defuse a lot of tension and allow you to relax, enjoy each other, and find ways to be intimate, whether or not you’re having intercourse.