Breast or Bottle : THE Debate

I have no idea why this is even a debate BUT trust me it is a serious sore point for the masses. Breast feeding or bottle feeding. Which is best?

What SHOULD mums be doing? My opinion – I don’t give a crap as long as you love, care for and feed your child but I feel that this is a debate we need to put to bed because there’s already enough pressure on new mums to be perfect. Quite honestly, I don’t understand how anyone came to care so much about how others choose to utilise their tits at the end of the day? So I’m not going to completely focus on the debate itself but more my experience with breastfeeding and why I moved on to formula eventually.

So firstly, I am a massive breast-feeding advocate, I will always stand by woman’s rights to feed freely and with pride in public. I won’t ever cover myself feeding unless I WANT to. I won’t stand for negativity about breast feeding in my presence because it is a very personal decision and a very personal journey a woman takes with her child. It’s fucking hard. It’s unimaginably tiring. It’s massively selfless. BUT THAT IS PARENTING, REGARDLESS.

I breast-fed my first-born, Abel, for nine months before transitioning to formula. I plan to breastfeed my next baby also but what many fail to realise is that for both mother and newborn, the actual act of breastfeeding is a learned trait, it is not an inherent ability. The act of suckling comes naturally to newborns but not necessarily with the ability to physically latch properly on to the breast. Therefor; as with any other learned skill within human beings, some learn quickly and successfully and for some it just does not work effectively and basically the most important thing in a newborns life is to be well nourished. If breastfeeding does not work for yourself and/or your baby then we VERY LUCKILY have formula to turn to. I promise myself that I will transition to formula if and when my baby and I require it, without guilt. New mums can feel so pressured in to doing things the way their family/friends/doctors etc tell them to do things and that is so unfair. While nutritionally breast-milk may be the best thing for infants, formula is as close as it gets, and it’s far from harmful and so why should formula feeding mums be belittled and made to feel inferior? Abel literally could not have cared less when he was banned from the boobins’ and sat with a bottle. He just wanted a full belly.

I would always recommend to new mums to try breastfeeding if they have any desire to do so because it truly is a beautiful bond, you can’t forget your boobs when you leave the house so you’ll never be caught milkless, saves a tonne of money, saves so much time without the need to wash, sterilise and prepare bottles (unless you express and bottlefeed breastmilk) and also breastfeeding mums tend to get a lot more sleep than their bottle feeding counterparts purely because of the constant availability of le boob. However, for those that decide before their baby arrives or upon arrival of their tiny human that actually they just do not want to try breastfeeding because it doesn’t appeal to them in the slightest, that is completely normal, completely fine and completely justified and nobody should try to argue otherwise because it’s just NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Not your boobs, not your problem. Not your baby, thankfully not your problem either.

For me, breastfeeding was far from a smooth and romantic journey to be honest. When Abel was born he had a tongue tie and so he couldn’t latch properly to the breast which meant he was hungry and gassy and so we invested in some nipple shields for leaving the hospital. When Abel was five days old we took him to a specialised dentist who snipped the tongue tie, unfortunately it still took till Abel was between two and three months old before we nailed breastfeeding shield-less which meant a lot of faffing around at every feed, carrying around sterile fluid and a constant worry of an effected milk supply or slow weight gain in bub. Once we got the breastfeeding locked down I then struggled a little with my lack of freedom, I am by no means an attachment parent, I admittedly enjoy time away from my babies, I love adult nights with my partner, I love having lunch with my friends undisturbed and I like to have nights out with my loved ones where I can enjoy alcohol and be out of the house for hours WITHOUT HAVING TO MILK MYSELF every few hours… So while I was absolutely heartbroken when my milk supply dwindled and was forced to move on to formula after I fell pregnant again, I can honestly say I don’t dearly miss breastfeeding but I am excited to try again with baby #2 for the cuddles and the newborn weigh-ins.

There are definitely a million personal pros and personal cons to either infant feeding option, personally breast has been best for me only because it meant I never felt the serious exhaustion most new parents feel with a newborn, my boy and I found a way to make it work and I had the best support in the world to get me through, which without I wouldn’t have ever gotten to nine months breastfeeding, Kenny. He always had my back, spurred me on, congratulated me and made me feel safe when feeding in public knowing that for any weirdos that could have made comments to me he would have put them right in their place. Not that he ever had to but that sence of security meant the absolute world to me.

From experience all I can say is that for any new mum, regardless of how they chose to raise their children, the most evident and welcome gift from loved ones is support. I never wanted people to try to take my baby away from me to “give me space” because I was so anxious at the thought of him leaving my sight and because some of my wishes weren’t respected anyway I was distrustful of people having him alone. What I was incredibly appreciative of was people texting to ask if I wanted company, having friends and family come to visit and just sit with me to talk and eat snacks or to go for a quick walk to get out of the house for a minute. Just having people check in and care is the most amazing feeling.

So if you know a soon-to-be mama, shower her with love and when baby arrives keep in contact and make time for her, mothering can be one of the loneliest times in life. Lot’s of love,

Jen X