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An ode to the overwhelmed parent carers
I wish I didn’t have to think about anything else
I wish my brain wasn’t so full up
I wish my head didn’t constant buzz with to-do lists, put that down and try to be
ten steps ahead
I wish I didn’t feel guilty all the time
I wish I didn’t have to do or think about anything else other than being a parent
I wish I had a village
I wish I could switch my brain off and take a break without guilt
I wish I didn’t feel like I was failing on all cylinders
I wish I could fulfil my full potential
I wish I could just focus on one thing at a time without being ricocheted to the
next distraction or interruption
I wish my house wasn’t a constant wreck
I wish I didn’t constantly have dread in the pit of my stomach
I wish I wasn’t so tired and wired all at once
I wish I could just enjoy my child without having to worry about the growing to-do
list
I wish I hadn’t started any of this
I wish I could just be a stay-at-home mum and that be enough for me, but I know
even if I was, I’d feel unfulfilled, and fill the time with something else
And then there’s the guilt
How dare I feel like that
When I’ve begged and pleaded for the perfect little boy and here, he is
In all his wildness, messiness, and innocence
“Mummy, mummy, mummy”
I never dreamed I’d even hear those words so clearly
And now I take it for granted and snap “what!!” After the 20th “mummy” in a row
I wish the life I had was just enough for me
I wish I could give it all up, turn my phone off and throw it in a river
And maybe I will
But then who would I speak to
These fragile connections are all I have
Because I’m such hard work to be around people tire of me eventually
Because I’m so constantly overwhelmed, I can barely hold a conversation
anyway
Constantly trying to keep things together
All hanging by a thread
Because I’m so overwhelmed
Written by Amber Collins - you can follow her on Instagram here!
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