TODDLER TRAITS

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1.Toddler Tantrums – tantrums can happen anytime, anywhere and for the most ridiculous reasons and you must just accept this. Do not try to argue or reason with them. You will lose. Prepare for them throwing themselves on the floor in busy public places. The causes are for things such as you’ve dressed them in a yellow t-shirt instead of a blue one or you wouldn’t buy them a pack of tampons they have taken a liking to in the supermarket.

2. Bed Time – they will try every conceivable excuse in the book not to go to sleep. The nightly ritual usually involves “Mummy I need a wee, Mummy I need you to read me a book, Mummy I need you to put some socks on, Mummy I need you to pull my covers up, I need a drink, I need a biscuit, I need a poo”. The list is endless. Do not fall for it. You will regret it two hours  later.

3.Nap Time – if they don’t have an afternoon nap they are a nightmare. If they have a nap and you dare to wake them up, they are a nightmare. It is a no-win situation. Either way they are grumpy which results in phrases such as “I don’t like you, I don’t want to live here, you are a naughty girl mummy, I’m not going to nursery tomorrow.”. The best you can do is ignore it, until the mood passes. Good Luck.

4.Meal Times – the food they will eat generally depends on the day of the week. Be ready for them not eating broccoli because they don’t like the colour green today even though they ate a full crop of broccoli yesterday. They will often get angry if an item of food is chopped up and this will result in them crying “Mummy my chicken nugget is broken, please glue it back together”. Other excuses include “it’s too big, it’s too small, it looks like it has dirt on it, I want biscuits for tea” and this often concludes with most of the food all over the floor and walls.

5.Potty Training – probably one of the most stressful and frustrating times for everyone concerned. Expect to change a toddler approximately 7 -8 times per day as they wee their pants for fun and often find it hilarious. Prepare for emergency stopping the car and having strangers watching you as you stand by your child on the potty at the side of the road. Poo’s are a delight particularly when you have to hold your child whilst they poo in a public place and it lands on your shoe, their clothes or your hands. Persevere. You will get there. I think.

6.Arts and Crafts – painting and baking are my favourites. I salute anyone who can sustain a smile as their toddler paints the table, walls and floor instead of the piece of paper in front of them. Sometimes they don’t understand the water is for cleaning the paint brush but just use the water to paint instead which ends with soggy paper all over the room. Baking is equally as chaotic, as the beautiful vision of a perfectly decorated chocolate cake turns out looking like a mound of poo with icing on top. I’m probably just doing it wrong.