Before Tristan was born I’d rearranged his Moses basket to look at more times than I could count. I’d put in his little blankets embroidered with his name and prop his teddy bears up with 1cm distance between them. I didn’t think about how he’d look in it.

We stayed in the hospital for 3 days postpartum, and fell asleep cuddled up on the hospital bed with the sides propped up frequently. I’d have several midwives tell me cosleeping is bad news and that I shouldn’t be doing it but it always felt incredibly natural sleeping next to my son. When we got home he’d only use his Moses basket for day time naps so I could do much neglected housework (as if tiredness and clusterfeeding wasn’t bad enough, stitches made it almost impossible to do basic tasks without having to break constantly because of pain). At night I’d remove all but one pillow from our bed and prop them all on the floor in case by some miracle my not even a week old baby managed to roll himself off. I never worried I’d roll over him and naturally drew my legs up in a ‘C’ shape around his tiny body.

For us, every part about co-sleeping felt very natural and incredibly convenient. I didn’t have to worry he’d wake up crying or I wouldn’t hear him if he stopped breathing. I was and still am hyper alert of every move and sound he makes. I can count the nights he’s kept me up on one hand 7 months later.

I’ve been told several times about the risks, about why I shouldn’t be doing it and why newborns ~NeEd RoUtInE~ and how I’m setting myself up for a fall by encouraging him to sleep in bed with me. I can’t help but feel irritated by these comments. Can you want to love and be around your child too much? I don’t think so. Newborn clusterfeeds in the first 6 weeks aside, I’ve never felt sleep deprived at night and I truly believe this is because we co-sleep. When Tristan wakes for a feed I can latch him on and fall right back to sleep and immediately wake when he finishes his feed.

As humans, we tend to have tight schedules. We thrive off routine and keeping things the same so we get optimal sleep. Getting Tristan into a routine isn’t ever something I’ve worked at to do or change and by a few weeks old he’s naturally fallen into a routine that works for him. I couldn’t think of anything worse than trying to put him to be when he wasn’t ready just to benefit me. Although I admit I tried once and I ended up more tired and more frustrated than I would if I’d let him tire himself in his own time.

There are so many arguments around safety and how you will end up smothering your child if you co-sleep, how you’ll encourage dependence and how they’ll never learn to self-soothe. If practised properly, co-sleeping is very safe if you are sober from alcohol, recreational drugs, and any prescription medications that have drowsy side effects.

Tristan’s routine has changed naturally a lot since we first began co-sleeping but has formed a new pattern that’s easy to pick up on. If he were to be in a cot, in his own room I feel he’d be a lot more upset. At the moment, he’d throw himself around in a half sleepy state and I’d pick up on the movements and dream feed him. Something I couldn’t notice if he slept away from me.

In short, co-sleeping is safe when done properly. Ensure there are no thick blankets, baby is dressed appropriately, you are sober and if your baby is rolling invest in some bed guards. I take comments declaring I need to stop with a pinch of salt. After all, nobody else is waking up to feed and change him in the night. Parenting is tiring enough!

Here is some more information on the safe cosleeping guidelines!