The Newborn Bubble, Adjusting To New Life & Bonding

I absolutely love looking back to first weeks of Leo’s arrival when every single day is a blur of visitors, feeding, winding and feeling so in love, when you don’t even know what date, day or time it is… sound familiar mummas?!

The only way I remembered the day of the week and how long it had been was because every Thursday Leo is another week old! You lose all sense of time and place being in a loved up newborn bubble and it feels like forever but only yesterday they arrived! It is such a drastic time as much as it is an amazing time because you suddenly realise (even after 9 months of knowing this would happen) you can’t just nip out and grab something from the shop, nip out for a drink with the girls, wash your hair! your life is consumed by this teeny tiny beautiful human being and even going for a wee isn’t peaceful because you’re waiting for that little scream.

I told myself over and over that I wouldn’t lose who I was, stop seeing my friends and doing the things I enjoy. Well, I didn’t realise how hard that would be because going to see a friend for a few hours means planning how many feeds I would need, plenty of nappies and clothes, my own things… wow and talk about trying to get out on time! I’d need to get up at 8am to be out the house for 12 and when you’re with your friends or doing the things you enjoy its still consumed by baby, and baby is still your priority.  But I never gave up, Leo just fit into the life I had when I was pregnant and I wouldn’t change a thing because even though it is hard and full on it’s made me super confident out and about with baby alone or with company. I was told many times to slow down but I just couldn’t I’m really not the ‘chill’ type.

Bonding with Leo was amazing, because I was breastfeeding we did have a good first bond and that bond was the only thing that got me through that hard time, and the times after when he screams (like babies do) after you’ve fed them, changed them, cuddled them, rocked them, burped them, the list goes on and they are still upset. But that love and bond really does see you through! Babies seem like simple beings before you have your own but they are the complete opposite!

Of course, you feel a love you’ve never felt and you do have a bond but things are so expected to be perfect and they aren’t sometimes which is normal. It is just so unspoken of how hard the first few weeks are adjusting to a new life after the trauma of birth ect and that’s okay – why feel guilty when just a few hours, days or weeks ago you was your own person and did as you please? Talk about major adjustment!! There have been a couple of moments where I have wanted to cry, get in my car and drive away for just 10 little minutes.

I used to want to just go back to appreciate the full nights sleep I once had and 0 responsibility and as much as that is selfish and looked down upon we probably have all thought it at least once because it’s constant, even at 4am and I feel so guilty I’ve wished those things… but that isn’t because I didn’t want my baby I love him sometimes I just wished that I could appreciate how care free I once was and how easy life was and I could go back to being her for just an hour and turn mum off for a short while.

But I wouldn’t have my life any other way, I love being Leo’s mummy, I even love getting up at 4am to keep putting his dummy back in until he falls asleep, because the first thing he does when I come over is give me a beaming smile. He doesn’t care about anything but how much he loves his mummy and daddy and if he’s fed and changed. But that bond grows with time and do not let anyone make you feel bad about that, would you get along with just anyone and know just anyone inside out? It takes time!

That bond pulls you though those 2 hourly feeds all day and all night when you’re an actual zombie surviving off no sleep and no food because I couldn’t and still can’t find the time to even eat because you’re so busy looking after someone else and once there finally napping you’re to scared to leave the room or put them down and disturb them! Which is why it is so so important to look after ourselves once in a while whether it’s a face mask, a night with the girls, alone time with your partner or even just a full shower where you get to scrub your hair. Fit it in because you will value it and feel so refreshed afterwards and be ready to mum again! And wow, you bloody deserve it! You deserve to think of yourself for just an hour or two. So don’t let yourself feel any guilt when you think you could have just an hour to chill or do you, it does not make you a bad mum or love your little babe any less!

 

You face new challenges, new milestones every day and your heart gets bigger and bigger every day and every day something you found so hard and impossible the before will all of a sudden become a breeze. So if you’ve got lost somehow or you’re struggling to cope you can! Keep at it because you can do it and your baby loves you!
​
Comment on here, my instagram or visit the contact me page to let me know what you think and if you felt similar. x