Why I Enjoy My Sons Clinginess

My son can be a Grade A Clinger. Well, I say clingy… he has his moments. Generally, he’s pretty independent but he is what is often referred to as a ‘high needs’ child; he doesn’t sit still, rarely relaxes, and when he needs cuddles, hell hath no fury like Max not given instant gratification!

“What do you mean, ‘no cuddles while mama wipes after her wee’…? How dare you?!”

I’m constantly reading things from other parents bemoaning their child’s clinginess, articles on how to prise them from mamas bosom, detachment techniques… which is all fair and well as it can be extremely annoying having a ‘Velcro baby‘, particularly when you’re bursting for a shit/cooking dinner/just wanting some breathing space. Totally relatable. You can’t hold them all the time, there does need to be a healthy balance.

For me though, I find sanctuary in enjoying what society perceives to be the ‘negative’ aspects of parenting. It just makes the entire slog a much more pleasant experience!

When life gives you lemons…. chop them up and add to a gin & tonic.

Why do I love it when my son is being clingy…?

It makes me feel loved and needed.

I had pretty bad PND (postnatal depression) and suffer with PPA (postpartum anxiety) off the back of my PND, so I’ve always worried that my bond with him has been adversely affected…

Does he remember the times where mummy has sobbed all day, shouted at the slightest stress, left him with daddy whilst I cried in bed? Does he hate me for it?

Obviously not because he regularly comes to me and hugs me, lays his head on my lap and looks at me with those BEAUTIFUL blue eyes (I’m legit crying with love writing this), he holds my hand whilst we watch TV together, he buries his gorgeous golden head into the crook of my neck, and that glorious grin he gives me in the morning when he wakes… I just know that he LOVES me with all his precious heart regardless of our rocky start.

And when he’s being clingy, you know what? I put down what I’m doing (where possible), and I enjoy that 5/10/15 minutes where he wants me and only me. I savour every second because one day, when he’s off at uni living it up, I’ll miss these moments.

It’s just adorable when Max climbs onto my lap and buries his head into me!

Science has proven that you CANNOT spoil a child with love. Tending to their emotional needs will help their emotional and psychological development throughout their life, so if anyone accuses you of ‘making a rod for your own back’, flip them the bird and cuddle that child.

With age, comes independence. Don’t miss out on magical moments. Society is way too fixated on forcing independence on small babies instead of encouraging the natural development of self confidence and ability to self soothe. It takes time, so enjoy the closeness as it won’t be like this forever!

With love, from Katie & Max. Xx