The Hidden Perks of Parenthood

Parenthood is pretty awesome, even with the not so great bits… it comes with many benefits.

We all know about the benefits of cuddles, lots of love, seeing the first smile/giggle/steps etc. However, what about the perks we DON’T really talk about or notice? Well, here are five of the top unexpected perks of parenthood. You may find them a tad gross, or disagree with them, but there’s no denying that they are true!

One – Someone To Blame Public Farts On

Ok, ok, people will be dropping their jaws at this one but it’s surprisingly common and takes blaming the dog to a whole new level. Got a little gas during your grocery shop? Baby in tow? Easy! Find a quiet aisle and loudly proclaim for the benefit of customers yet to reach your spot;

“Poooooeeee, child, have you done a poopy? I think you have, my little petal! Oh sorry fellow shoppers, for the nuclear assault on your poor nostrils. Baby gotta do what baby gotta do, right?”

Two – there’s always, always, ALWAYS something to clean up with.

Baby wipes for the win! Spilled wine? Baby wipes are usually closer to hand than the kitchen cloth. Run out of loo roll (I don’t advocate this unless it’s an emergency, and even then, never flush them down the loo)? Grab a baby wipe. Run out of make up wipes? Grab a baby wipe. Child eating like an uncultured heathen and getting ketchup EVERYWHERE? Grab a baby wipe.

Three – run out of milk for your tea? Nae worries, pet!

I’ve never done this personally but I’ve genuinely met mums who’ve used a spot of formula or even breast milk for their cuppa in an emergency – having little ones means there is always some form of milk hanging around.

Four – small talk topics aplenty!

If you struggle to make conversation or small talk, having a child will give you plenty of material and anecdotes, enough to fuel many a stilted conversation with a stranger or acquaintance.

“Oh, do you have any children? No? Well… here’s why you SHOULD go forth and procreate, dear person whom I have never met before and who is looking increasingly uncomfortable…”

Nah, just joking. Most people are very receptive to child talk, family is a really relatable topic!

Five – too tired to go out on the town? You have the perfect excuse.

Let’s face it, kids are bloody exhausting, but it’s hard to let your mates down when a night out is planned. Being too tired from the shenanigans of a raucous toddler who hates sleep is never not a valid reason to turn down an invite and put your feet up (even if they slept well last night… ssshh!).