Our First Attempt at Playgroup...

Today was our first attempt at playgroup. 9am-11am. Arrive early or you could be turned away, firstly I dare you to turn me away after getting myself and a baby changed, here, and alive for 9am! I will fight you.

Secondly I’m unsure how when I got there everyone was mingling, dressed appropriately, calm, collective and relaxed.

Me? I’d jogged the whole way (except when I saw builders… don’t want them seeing me pant and sweat) turned up at the door sweating, having what felt like a minor asthma attack, couldn’t find an inhaler… Didn’t pack it – and holy mother of God, the church felt like the devil himself had been in and warmed it up! Not fun after a jog there and I’m pretty sure my deodorant was totally failing me. Pfft.

We eyed the room, and there was a few types of children.

CLINGERS. Oscar came into this category, the babies that literally you couldn’t shake off your leg, the moment you even attempt to ‘leave them’ to sit on an adult chair there is one hell of a crying snotty face peering up at you. These babies carry a comforter, diddy and bottle all together at all times!

CALM. COLLECTED. CONFIDENT. They got here early, their parents are chit chatting and they are doing EXACTLY as they should. Playing nicely. No throwing, basically a total dream. They have matching outfits and no comforter!

EXTRAS. these are the older children who come with a tot. Too old to be here but somehow was allowed to come in with little Suzie baby. They tend to be kinda chubby. Really destructive and taking toys that the CLINGERS are playing with left right and center. Their mom…. doesn’t give a flying f**k.

TOKEN SET OF TWINS. There’s always an set of twins isn’t there? The ones that make you thank Jesus you only have to deal with one clinger and not two. Their mom always has panic across her face and generally loses one of the children every 5/10mins.

And last but not least CRYERS. Talks for itself, doesn’t it. They cry. Nonstop from start to finish even with a mouthful of toast. Their mom… Totally unfazed!

After an hour of dropping Oscar in a pile of books and running to a chair repeatedly, it was toast and singing time. I obviously had to check the toast wasn’t poisonous (heads up… don’t do this), its seriously frowned upon when you each the children’s free toast.

Ring-a-ring-a-roses. Wheels on the bus. A very… shitty rendition of ‘I can sing a rainbow’ and we were out of there.

But you know what… I enjoyed it. I enjoyed sitting with a bunch of other CLINGERS moms, giving each other the ‘I feel sorry for you eyes’ and looking at the together-moms with complete jealousy and slight admiration.

I think we’ll go again. ☺