An Open Letter To My Nearly One Year Old

Dearest Heidi Beau,

I write you this letter today as I am in the midst of planning your very first birthday. No matter how many times I pinch myself I still don’t know what I have done to deserve you. Nearly a whole year ago I was carrying you around in my belly wondering whether you were a he or a she, wondering what colour hair you would have, wondering whether you would look like me or daddy. We often lay there discussing you before you were born. I hoped you would have your daddies temperament, his kindness and his generosity. I hoped you would have my ability to see things from different perspectives and be able to encourage people to make good choices. We both hoped that you would be a loving character but above all else, we prayed that you would be happy. Of course in the grand scheme of things, none of this really mattered as long as you were healthy, but it kept our hearts warm talking about you and preparing ourselves for your arrival.

Nothing could have prepared us for you being born. Something happens when you become a parent, you change. You aren’t the same person you were before. Suddenly we were your protectors, your safe place, your guardians. You relied solely on us to keep you alive and that is a big responsibility. In fact, it’s a massive responsibility, but one that comes naturally and fills you with pride. Since becoming your mum I have never felt so empowered. The shy, too scared to stand up for myself, always putting everyone else’s needs first was truly gone. Family comes first now and I will fight to the death of me to ensure that you are happy and have the best life that you can. Our job is to encourage you to learn and be humble, be giving and be kind.

This year has been the most rewarding year of my life, watching you grow and becoming a proper little human has given me a new lease of life. You make me laugh every day with your cheeky ways. The fact that you still aren’t moving just makes me love you even more. You must get your laziness from your daddy. Or are you just too clever that you know it’s easier not moving? That’s a question we will never know. What I do know is that you already have a loving beautiful soul, you are humorous and cheeky and you love animals. You love to dance to music and your favourite part of the day is when daddy gets home from work. Daddy’s favourite part of the day is getting drenched when you splash about in the bath, and my favourite part of the day is giving you your bedtime bottle and stealing sleepy snuggles from you. That, and the face you make when you wake up and see us in the mornings. Your favourite food is banana and you have recently acquired a fondness for milky bar chocolate eggs. Your favourite songs to dance to are by Little Mix and you love ’round and round the garden’ and ‘row row your boat’. You have six teethy pegs and you can stand unaided for 10 seconds so far.

I want to thank you for giving me a purpose. I know that I was put on this earth to be your mum. I know that everything I have been through in my life has led me to being here. That is my job and it’s the best job in the world. Happy nearly one year birthday my darling.

I love you xox