You can read and practice as much as you like, but you’ll very quickly realise that whole chapters and topics seem to be missing from your collection of baby books! Is it a conspiracy or is it because some experiences just have to be lived? Who knows! Thankfully we’ve got your covered with our 5 things about being a mummy (which nobody bothered to tell you).
- Other people love your kids.
That seems obvious, of course they do, however the realisation that family love your children, although joyous, can feel intense. No one prepares you for having to share your baby! The practicalities for fostering your baby’s other relationships can be overwhelming. Grandparents, Aunts, etc, all want to spend time with your baby, and who can blame them, but it does become a balancing act.
Grandma wants to pop round for the 4th day in a row? Great, let her watch baby while you go for an overdue shower. Find a way to make it work for you. Just try to remember that they are learning how to be a grandparent, auntie etc, just like you’re learning on the job too and it takes time for everyone to adjust to new family dynamics.
- Feeling a bit lonely.
Let’s be honest, being a mummy can be quite lonely and it’s certainly something most mums aren’t prepared for. After partners have gone back to work and the stream of visitors has calmed down, the days can start to feel quite long. Yes, of course you have your little one with you and that’s fine, but quite frankly their Netflix suggestions are rubbish and they don’t have any advice on getting stains out of baby-gros. Try to pluck up the courage to ask that mummy from baby group if they fancy meeting up.
Note: Just because you gave birth to babies at a similar time, does not mean you’ll automatically get along, and that’s ok. Don’t overthink it, chalk it up to experience, and find a rebound mummy-date for next week. If you want to of course.
- You become a ruthless art-critic.
Nothing prepares you for the first picture your kid scribbles. They are proud, you are even prouder, and before you know it, the drawing has won a first prize place on the fridge. However, no one actually prepares you for what to do with the hundreds of shit drawings that follow. Thankfully ‘mummy-instinct’ kicks in and after a short while you become ruthless.
You develop your own criteria of what constitutes as being ‘Fridge-worthy’, and what needs to slip into the recycling at nap time. You soon realise that not everything needs to be cherished. Congratulations, you’re now a ruthless art critic!
- Calling your other half ‘Daddy’.
The moment you give birth, both you and your other half gain exciting new ‘Mummy and Daddy’ titles. Precious names bestowed upon you with great power and greater responsibility. Despite this, no one actually prepares you for the first few toe-curling, self conscious experiences of calling your other half ‘Daddy’, especially in public. Not to mention the first few awkward times you do it when your kid isn’t there. Cringe!
It’s all good though because after a few days, you really don’t care anymore and think nothing of loudly proclaiming ‘Daddy, pass the bag, I think they’ve done a poo.’ in the middle of the shopping aisle.
Parenthood really does change you in small ways you would never have imagined.
- Life is a roller-coaster.
We couldn’t have a top 5 without finishing on a smushy one!
No matter what journey you and your baby are on, nothing and no one can prepare you for the intensity of your emotions. It’s like becoming a parent gave you a ‘level-up’ on all of the feelings. While it can be challenging learning to deal with your new found sense of emotional awareness, the great news is that the sheer pride and joy you’ll experience along the way is beautiful.
From falling in love with Daddy all over again while watching him bond with his baby, to the flashes of pride and achievement for every shit little picture you place in the recycling. There are certainly some things you’ll only discover along the journey and while no one prepares you for them, they are usually where the all the best memories are made.
What were you not prepared for when becoming a mummy? Share your wisdom in the comments below!